The Cookie Curse

I think I've inherited a curse that has snaked its way along my mother's side of the family and has sunk its fangs into me. It's a curse that I hate to admit I have. Every month i feel like the curse has left me and I attempt to do it again. And right when I get myself to make an attempt the depressing cycle rears its ugly head.

What is this unholy curse?

I can't make chocolate chip cookies.

I know this might sound ridiculous to most of you. But those of you who think it sounds ridiculous probably don't have this problem. It's such an embarrassing thing to admit to yourself, or anyone, that you can't bake the most simple baked good known to man. I mean, its a cookie. How hard could it be? Well, if you ask my mom, sister, or grandma, its extremely hard. None of us can do it. Every time we try to make chocolate chip cookies it turns into this flat, pancake shaped, mushy mess.  One of the most frustraing things about it is that my dad can make delicious cookies! And every time he does a little dagger goes into my womanly homemaker heart. I have failed in the cookie aspect of being a wife.

Don't get me wrong, I can cook. I actually love to cook. I've made many different meals for Jeffrey that he loves! Some of the recipes are really involved, and at the end of which I feel a sense of pride that I can cook well. Its just these forsaken cookies that I can't make.

My mother in law makes the best cookies in the world. They are always the perfect size, baked to perfection, with the perfect amount of chocolate chip to cookie dough ratio; not too many chocolate chips, not too few. They always taste good.

Jeffrey loves chocolate chip cookies. So, taking notes, I innocently try to make some yesterday. I figured... hey, I just got my new Kitchenaid mixer stand. I might as well put it to good use. I'll be the cute wife that has cookies baking when her husband gets home. He'll be so happy to have cookies just like his mom makes waiting for him after a long day of school. Instead, Jeffrey came home to cookies that looked like this.

As you can see I took some off the sheet. When I did, they rolled up into a tiny little accordion of cookie. I was too embarrassed to take a picture. Not only were they flat, but some of them actually dripped off the cookie sheet and landed in the oven. I couldn't even make one cookie! How humiliating. As he walked in, my previously stated dream went up in smoke. And now I have an oven to clean.

 Now, I am currently mourning the loss of what should have been an easy talent to acquire. At least I still have my cute kitchenaid mixer. I'll have to find other pastries to make instead of my nemesis, and embarrassingly simple, chocolate chip cookies.

 I'll leave you with a good depiction of how I feel about the matter. Nothing describes my feelings quite like Friends.